


To Begin To Heal

by FBIEpidemic



Series: Paralyzed [3]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt Aaron Hotchner, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 08:48:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16323044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FBIEpidemic/pseuds/FBIEpidemic





	To Begin To Heal

_“Do you ever think about what it was like to be on those rockets? The first ones to go up?” His right hand is tangled in her fingers, held down because Emily is laid out beside him with her head cradled on his shoulder. “Terrifying. It would be thrilling though.”_

_Emily moves, re-positioning her head on his shoulder, and rubs the tips of her fingers over his chest, up and down his sternum. “I wouldn’t want you gone that long,” she looks up, her ear getting tucked under her head as she moves. His shirt rides up as consequence._

_He smiles, eyes still glued to the starry sky. He wanted to come out and observe the stars, really he just didn’t want to lay on the couch and watch The Bachelor with Emily. Turns out, cuddling on a blanket in the middle of the yard is a little chilly but it’s nice. “Not even for science?”_

_She looks at him for a long hard moment and smiles. “You’re such a geek,” she’d seen his ‘Science Club’ t-shirts and the one from ‘Chess Club’, not to mention the fact that he was also the president of both clubs. So, it’s not really that hard to imagine that he would do anything for science. “A cute, geek but a geek.”_

_He smiles, a sheepish smile that he tends to wear when other’s find out just how nerdy his younger years were. He turns his head, the same way he did when she found his movie collection. Not like the movies that had been collected between him, Haley, and Jack. No, the movies that Hotch had stashed under his bed in a box. Nothing nasty just every Marvel and DC movie from the last few years (all of the Hulks, Iron Man, and some shitty movie titled ‘The Spirit’) and every single nerdy movie you could think of._

_“I mean it,” she throws her leg over his hips lifting herself over him with one smooth motion. “I really do.”_

_He smiles, this time just genuine and cute. “Really?” He distracts her just long enough to flip her over and now he leans on her hips. “That’s good because that would make this kinda weird.” He grins again, this moment of unspoken consent seeking but he never has to verbally ask because she’s already leaning in to do._

_“Aaron, I lo-”_

“Hey,” there’s a heavy hand on her shoulder, it makes her jump to alertness. “Sorry,” it’s Derek’s large figure standing over here even if her mind, for a moment, convinced her that Foyett was looming around. Just waiting for another chance to hurt Aaron, that wretched man always liked to kick when others were down.

“It’s fine,” she tries to smile but lets it fall off because she knows Derek will see right through it. “Did something happen?”

Over the last forty-eight, Aaron and this hospital had worn her nerves so thin the only thing she could do coherently was fall asleep. So she did.

“He’s awake and asking for you.” 

Because over the last forty-eight hours, Aaron was told about his predicament and then he was sedated but not first before working himself into a hot state. Because of his ‘hot state’ they were not allowed to visit until a doctor decided he was in clear conscious. 

That was all of the forty-eight hours ago. 

 

 

His entire body is cold. 

Except for his wrist but he knows why that is. 

“Come back to me,” he can hear Emily sobbing by his side, her body shakes the bed as she cries into his thigh. Doesn't matter anyway, it’s not like he can feel the way her wet tears soak through the blanket and through the hospital gown they won’t let him take off.

He wants to hurt her, doesn’t that sound sadistic? He wants someone to hurt the way he’s hurting and it never really occurs to him that she already is hurting for him.

“Agent Hotchner.”

The doctors tell him that he was lucky. That a wound like his causes others to lose full mobility. Somehow, having to make the decision to either cut his leg or remain stuck in his wheelchair for the rest of his life is ‘lucky’. 

He just wishes the bullet had gone a little higher and knicked something important. He’d just rather be dead. 

“Agent Hotchner,” the doctor interrupts his thoughts with another loud shout of his name. “I’m Dr.-”

“I know who you are.” 

Life is crumbling. Everything he knows, everything he had is gone, it’s been stripped away. 

“Good.” The doctor smiles at him, unaffected by Aaron’s quip and general foul mood. He rocks back on his heels,” you’re beginning PT in the morning. So, rest up.” He twists on his foot and leaves the room. 

Hotch leans back into the pillows and sighs deeply,” E-...Emily?”

She turns to him, she had lifted her head and whipped her eyes when the doctor came in. Now, at the sudden mention of her name, she turns and looks at him. 

Tears block his vision and blinking them away only burns,” Em, I’m sorry.” When her hand, cold and small, slides into his he can’t keep himself together. Tears, hot and wet, slip down his face,” I’m so sorry.”

Emily stands, reaching out to him and pulling his head to her chest. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

He’s sobbing, she can feel it but he means it and it’s so raw. He shakes his head, which is truly all he can do with two bum legs and two hands tied to the bed. “No, no, it’s not. It’s not okay.”

“Shh, shh,” she pushes a hand through his hair, kissing the bit of forehead that it leaves. “It’ going to be okay. It really is.”


End file.
